Rêve de lointain (s/he) said:
so they write but still they don’t go to some broke lady with a shabby interior :)) well, if he didn’t waste his fucking pennies on jerking off he could also go to the sea or buy a phone for himself 🙂
Flower88 (s/he) said:
Yeah, yeah, and then he bans me. After seeing a photo in an album where I’m at sea. So soon we will not be able to even stream on a normal couch, without being accused of living in abundance.
X
300 euros is a lot for the concept of the project. Who will we sell it to? There are sponsors, yes, but this does not mean that they will buy it. How much do you charge for a play? We thought that 1500 for a script for a promenade play was a lot, we found a cheaper playwright. You are probably only interested in money. Some are ready to work for the repute and the sake of art. This is a volunteer project, budget comes from our pockets. We want to improve the culture, you understand? No, we definitely can’t afford such an amount, the offer will be a little lower, I’ll write to you tomorrow. We are ready to offer 350 euros per month. We have strict reporting: we need x pages, xx symbols, xx publications, xxx checks, xxxx signatures, xxxxx materials. But this is a cultural initiative, you understand. Well, do you agree?
XI
SHE. I told a friend that I see no other way now than to undress in front of the camera and do what is required of me. By the way, in Europe, the salaries of webcam models are equal to the average salaries in the country. A friend lent me 100 euros, on which I lived for 2 weeks. When I returned them, three months later, I realized that this was it. I am not going back to webcam. I burned all the props and underwear. I wanted to get rid of these thoughts.
Now I don’t understand why I was depressed then and couldn’t, for example, go to orgies or sex parties. But then again, I didn’t think about it at all.
Already after the revolution, I had no sexual desire. Then a guy appeared, and I started recording us and sending it to another person. And then I broke up with him and that year I had only two kisses. I’ve opened old porn links a few times, which were supposed to work like memory. Didn’t work. I went to a nude shoot, the photographer wrote that we might have sex. I went and realized that I do not want anything. I don’t want to be touched. And I haven’t masturbated in almost a year. Only when fingers were not enough, did I use a dildo. After the beginning of the war, by the way, I thought, why masturbate at all, and did not consider this option as a stress reliever.
I last had sex in January in Kyiv. And the kiss… At one event, I was kissed on the forehead by a friend of a girl I came with. I started crying and saying that no one had kissed me for more than six months, and then he just started kissing me on my lips. We were standing and kissing, and that’s it, nothing else happened.