3.
ANYA. I heard that story from Maya when she just enrolled. I was stuck in the library, buried under a heap of dictionaries. It seemed kind of abusive, but in our first year we’d constantly get meaningless homework that lay in copying dictionary articles by hand. I guess the intention was to teach us to love libraries and respect the deeds of Vladimir Dal1, train our persistence… But.
MAYA. So you wanna hear what’s next? Would you watch such a film?
ANYA. I mumbled something indistinct. Like, the plot sounds corny.
MAYA. It’s about the atmosphere, you see, it’s kind of hard to describe in words: the nonlinear storytelling, the camera movement, the actors’ faces, the sounds. It’s not the what, it’s the how.
ANYA. Of course I’d rather be left alone in peace. I’d have finished my work faster, tossed the dictionaries onto the trolley, spent an hour quaking on the trolleybus and passed out. But for some reason I didn’t stop Maya, didn’t ask her to leave me alone. I didn’t hiss at her to make her disappear. Truth be told, there was something weirdly appealing about her. Both frightening and curious. We learned, it seems, in a biology class that it’s always like that with predators. The prey gravitates towards them. And so she went on with her monologue, regardless of me.
4.
MAYA. So imagine a girl, like me, like you, like Yana – we’ve all had this moment. She escapes from her usual surroundings, like, say, spends her summer in the village. And there, all of a sudden, everything is different, more serious, you know? Like serious talks, like “And what’s next?”, “What’s life?”, “Who am I?” And boys look her in the eyes. Parties, first booze. And something is waking up inside her. You relate to that? You do? Boom, fireworks. The yearning, the curiosity just blows her mind. She only saw that in movies before and now it’s her own life. And then summer’s over, she goes back to that basic world, school, same faces every day. And what does she do? She’s thinking…
YANA. I am so fucking cool!
MAYA. She’s enjoying herself with all of her might. She’s a provocateur. All the girls are freaking out, because they feel her power and they fear competition, they fear what they want themselves. Her mom is frowning. And Yana is writing in her diary…
YANA. I will always stay like this. Such an incredible bomb. I will not end up drinking wine at forty-five or buying designer rags with what’s left of my money, or painting my lips red and being desperate. I will not chase time, I will stay like this forever.
MAYA. And she catches glances. Even those of adult men. It’s weird, even kinda gross, but who cares. They give her a boost. She feels desired, you see? She’s attractive! But that’s all inside, like a ticking bomb, there’s no release for all this energy. She doesn’t even have any idea of how this works. And so she scans all the boys in her class. Just glances and smiles are not enough. So she goes out on a date. Max is a classmate, they talk at breaks. That’s convenient. They see each other a lot. And after all, he’s kinda cute. But all of them are cute in their own way. And… right!
1Vladimir Dal (1801–1872) was a lexicographer, ethnographer, linguist, writer, the author of Explanatory Dictionary of the Living Great Russian Language. His works were especially praised in Soviet times. /Here and after noted by the project authors./